An Ordinary Trip

Wednesday is church day so I have to cross the international border between Mexico and the US two times. Ordinary people just drive across town to church....but then, what fun is it to be just ordinary? So, leaving Mexico, I have to be sure I have my passport, my bridge toll ( 24 pesos) and anything that I will need for the day. (I cannot cross most fresh fruits and vegetables, plants, birds, eggs, any kind of pork, raw poultry or beef, etc etc ). Then, I get to sit in line waiting for my turn to cross. Today was a breeze...it only took about 20 minutes. Of course, two solid lanes of semi trailers are to my right and I have to watch carefully since they pull out in front of me anytime they want to. I must be invisible to them. At the border inspection, it helps to have my doors unlocked, the radio volume turned all the way down, sunglasses and checkbook put away, and the cell phone turned off. They asked a variety of questions: what was I doing in Mexico? where do I live? where was I born? do I own my van? where am I going? why am I going where I am going? what I have to declare? Then they smile (I hope) and say "have a good day!" ( I really hope) and I am free to drive into the US.

Now I have to remember to speak English, stop at all stop signs (not just slide through), pay for things in dollars and cents not pesos and centavos, to measure things in miles, feet, and pounds (not kilometers, meters, and kilos), stay under the speed limit (instead of ignore it while trying to drive faster than the car behind me), be on time or a bit early (not a comfortable 15 to 30 minutes late), to eat with a fork and spoon instead of a tortilla. ......well, in short, I have to change languages and customs!

Now for the trip back to Reynosa, this time the guy in the toll booth wants to visit. How was my day??? Do I still like my retirement? Its a slow night. I drive halfway across the bridge and have to turn off my cell phone. You could be thrown in jail for talking and driving. Now the same line of semis appears but it is dark so I am seeing lights, red and clear, flashing and steady...and some of the lights are turned off making the trucks really hard to see. They try to be invisible. Stuck (literally) in between the trucks are pickups towing junky looking cars. They are on their way to central America. Now, I have to carefully stay to the left, put my flashing lights on, or suddenly be headlight to headlight with an oncoming car which is in the wrong lane but acts like the owner of the whole bridge. Now come the red and green lights. You drive slowly toward the signals. If the green light comes on, you drive on through, smiling. If the red light comes on, you go into customs for an inspection. There the car is checked for whatever the agent happens to want....that becomes suddenly "illegal" to take into Mexico. On most trips, the agent just says, "Pasale" or "Go ahead." And I do. However, this is not the end. Next you have to go through the federal police stop. They are looking for guns and drugs. They flag me to a stop. I have to get out of the van (being sure to take the keys, my purse, and my cell phone!) Several police swarm the van, looking in the side pockets, under the seats, under the floor mats, in the glove compartment, etc. Disappointed, they tell me I can go ahead! I still have to drive through an obstacle course of cones and police with flags telling me to go right then left then right then straight (no commas intended!).........and finally, I can step on the gas and get on home.

Now as you drive 10 minutes on a good highway with dependable signals and no double lanes of semi trucks, remember that I have probably been on my way for a least an hour already and am just getting to the border inspection!