Two Parades and One Show

Every day, two parades go by my house!....for real!

The first one starts around 7 a.m. A truck with a container that looks like a large plastic water jug on its side drives by with a peppy little tune telling me their water is the only pure purified water in Reynosa! Next a truck comes along with a nasal voice calling GAAAAS! They are selling propane gas. Then, a pickup drives by announcing the vacancies and requirements for employment at one of the local factories. Soon another pickup comes by selling oranges, brooms, dust pans, mops, honey, peanuts in the shell and caramel candies.
Following that pickup, a horse drawn wagon comes by yelling BA-SU-RA....he's the garbage collector and a very useful fellow at that because he can also trim tree branches, put up sagging laundry lines, hang Christmas lights, oil the track the gate slides on, and give community news! Next there is a sucession of men looking for jobs as handy men, plumbers, carpenters, electricians, gardeners, etc etc. Following them another pickup comes along selling bananas, poison for rats, tonic to make children grow and old bones work, liquid to kill ticks and fleas, freezer pops and maybe onions and cabbage. Soon, a man comes offering strings of garlic and behind him comes a young man pulling what looks like a metal suitcase on wheels. He wears a pink and royal blue outfit...cap, shirt, and pants.....and rings a little bell. He is selling Bon-Ice, natural (who really knows!) ice pops. Then comes a man balancing a plastic box (the kind you store blankets in and put under the bed)....he yells PAAAAAN! and is selling bread, rolls, sweet breads, etc. with a few flies put in for good measure. Soon a backwards bicycle comes along....in the front (on top of the two wheels) he has a small fire made with coals and corn on the cob roasting as he drives. He will fix it for you with dubious mayonaise or sour cream or white flakey cheese or chili powder or any combination of the above. Then a really old scrappy truck comes along wanting your old metal....refrigerators, stoves, cars, washers, and anything you want to get rid of. And, then it is time for the lady with a kettle full of tamales to stop by and offer you a variety of tamales....hot sauce included.
and around 2 p.m. this parade disappears for their midday rest.

But alas it is time for the second parade to begin......this one goes past my house too, but on the driveway leading to four houses behind my house. And, it originates with the last of the four houses. First of all, a half awake woman probably wearing what she slept in, comes out with 2 or 3 small bags of garbage and puts them out by the street. She goes back to the house. Soon she reappears with some coins in her hand and she goes to buy tortillas....and comes back to her house. Next one of the men who I assume lives in that house comes out and goes to the little store and comes back with Pepsi in bottles...and goes back to the house. Next, the man the woman supposedly lives with comes out and goes to the store, yelling into the air most of the way...and comes back to the house carrying a bottle of whiskey or tequila. Then the woman comes out and stands at the street and looks both ways for a while and returns to the house. Soon a taxi comes flying into the driveway and screeches to a stop. The horn adds a little noise to the atmosphere and brings yelling people out into the driveway. Apparently, he comes to either eat or pick up some food....he stays a little while during which time a man in a wheelchair comes down the driveway, stays for about 15 minutes and comes back out. Then a guy with slanted eyes, long gray ponytail, open shirt and torn shorts comes in on a bicycle.....he leaves with a bag or a package containing who know what. Then with lots of flying stones and racket, the taxi leaves.....someone yelling things to him as he backs the taxi out into the street. Next the woman and her "husband" come out and he is holding her hand, she is carrying her lunch....and he accompanies her to work. He returns around 5 p.m. after obviously having had something besides water to drink....several other men accompany him, the music gets loud and the doors slam shut. The second parade is over.

And the show......this is a once a week event which starts on Thursday afternoon and ends sometime after midnight or in the early morning hours on Sunday. The woman gets paid on Thursday, so the husband has lots of money for his drinking. He drinks a lot and wanders in and out of the driveway with an assortment of "friends." When the woman comes home from work, she is MAD and yells at him, he yells back and this goes on for a couple of hours before they slam the door and things are muffled. On Friday, he is so mad that he and his friends and the music and the drinks are locked in the house when she arrives. He will not let her in....so there is MORE YELLING and pounding on the door and the music gets louder. Finally, he lets her in. On Saturday, she locks the door when she leaves for work....he is so drunk, he doesn't really notice....so the men have their party outside, until he gets really angry about being locked out. Then he climbs on whatever to get on the flat roof of the house, bangs around and eventually breaks into the house from the back.....when the woman comes home and finds the mess and the husband inside, there is more YELLING, but by now he is soooo drunk that he passes out.....and the show is over until next Thursday.

Okay.....two parades and one show......and they are free!

An Ordinary Trip

Wednesday is church day so I have to cross the international border between Mexico and the US two times. Ordinary people just drive across town to church....but then, what fun is it to be just ordinary? So, leaving Mexico, I have to be sure I have my passport, my bridge toll ( 24 pesos) and anything that I will need for the day. (I cannot cross most fresh fruits and vegetables, plants, birds, eggs, any kind of pork, raw poultry or beef, etc etc ). Then, I get to sit in line waiting for my turn to cross. Today was a breeze...it only took about 20 minutes. Of course, two solid lanes of semi trailers are to my right and I have to watch carefully since they pull out in front of me anytime they want to. I must be invisible to them. At the border inspection, it helps to have my doors unlocked, the radio volume turned all the way down, sunglasses and checkbook put away, and the cell phone turned off. They asked a variety of questions: what was I doing in Mexico? where do I live? where was I born? do I own my van? where am I going? why am I going where I am going? what I have to declare? Then they smile (I hope) and say "have a good day!" ( I really hope) and I am free to drive into the US.

Now I have to remember to speak English, stop at all stop signs (not just slide through), pay for things in dollars and cents not pesos and centavos, to measure things in miles, feet, and pounds (not kilometers, meters, and kilos), stay under the speed limit (instead of ignore it while trying to drive faster than the car behind me), be on time or a bit early (not a comfortable 15 to 30 minutes late), to eat with a fork and spoon instead of a tortilla. ......well, in short, I have to change languages and customs!

Now for the trip back to Reynosa, this time the guy in the toll booth wants to visit. How was my day??? Do I still like my retirement? Its a slow night. I drive halfway across the bridge and have to turn off my cell phone. You could be thrown in jail for talking and driving. Now the same line of semis appears but it is dark so I am seeing lights, red and clear, flashing and steady...and some of the lights are turned off making the trucks really hard to see. They try to be invisible. Stuck (literally) in between the trucks are pickups towing junky looking cars. They are on their way to central America. Now, I have to carefully stay to the left, put my flashing lights on, or suddenly be headlight to headlight with an oncoming car which is in the wrong lane but acts like the owner of the whole bridge. Now come the red and green lights. You drive slowly toward the signals. If the green light comes on, you drive on through, smiling. If the red light comes on, you go into customs for an inspection. There the car is checked for whatever the agent happens to want....that becomes suddenly "illegal" to take into Mexico. On most trips, the agent just says, "Pasale" or "Go ahead." And I do. However, this is not the end. Next you have to go through the federal police stop. They are looking for guns and drugs. They flag me to a stop. I have to get out of the van (being sure to take the keys, my purse, and my cell phone!) Several police swarm the van, looking in the side pockets, under the seats, under the floor mats, in the glove compartment, etc. Disappointed, they tell me I can go ahead! I still have to drive through an obstacle course of cones and police with flags telling me to go right then left then right then straight (no commas intended!).........and finally, I can step on the gas and get on home.

Now as you drive 10 minutes on a good highway with dependable signals and no double lanes of semi trucks, remember that I have probably been on my way for a least an hour already and am just getting to the border inspection!